waiting on the very edge
by shy labeef
Summary: A hundred moments ranging from their first meeting to their last, and everything in between. Because sometimes you find a home in the person you least expect to, and sometimes you'll even find something that (at the very least) vaguely resembles love. Each chapter is based off one of the one hundred most beautiful words in English. Formerly "let's see how far we'll go."
1. Incipient

**This is the first chapter of what's going to ultimately be a hundred chapter not-drabble series. Each chapter will be based off one of the one hundred most beautiful words in the English language. They'll all be Levi and Hanji based, but not necessarily LeviHan.**

**Written for the 100 Words Challenge from the FanFiction ImagiNation forum.**

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><p>Incipient<br>_adjective_  
>beginning to happen or develop; in an early stage<p>

The first time Levi encounters Hanji Zoe is after she has quite literally run him down and left him for dead in the middle of the hallway.

He'd heard things about her before this, of course, she was rather notorious among the new recruits. That she was sixteen years old, had graduated third in her class with an even 35/40 (a score almost unheard of apparently, with the only reason her not being ranked higher was her lack of prowess on the field), highly intelligent, and-according to some sources-completely fucking insane.

This information, while moderately useful, isn't actually what interested him about her in the first place. It was the way she'd looked at him the day Erwin had brought him to base the week before and made him show the team leaders his ability with the 3D gear. Most of the other rookies had stared at him in awe, wonder, and confusion, while Hanji simply watched with a peculiar look on her face. Curious, but in a hungry sort of way. Vaguely impressed and mildly perplexed, but not in the usual sense - more like she couldn't care less about his abilities themselves, just how she could make them work for her. She'd looked at that same way the day later, when he'd been officially introduced to his new comrades. It had been unnerving.

These are the thoughts that run through his head as he tries to get his bearings, and by the time he does, she's at the end of the hall and turning the corner. He gets up and, against his better judgement, follows her.

"Hey!" he calls when he turns the corner and sees her about to slip around yet another. "Shit Glasses! Stop!"

Hanji pauses, and turns around, clearly puzzled when she sees him. "What?" she asks after a moment, quirking her eyebrows. She crosses her arms and leans against the wall, impatient but waiting.

He continues walking till he's right in front of her so he doesn't have to yell, but now that he is, he's a bit surprised. She's tall for a girl, and thin with wider shoulders, but not exactly in a feminine way (but not quite in a masculine way either). She is nice-looking enough-although more handsome than cute-but there's something about her that makes him wary. He'd like to say it's the obvious answer, the cold and calculating look in her eyes as she peers at him, but there's something else there too, something that tells him she's a lot more dangerous than she might appear. He can see the exact moment that she recognizes him, but still, her expression doesn't much change. If anything, she looks even more annoyed. "What?" she repeats, and this brings him out of his thoughts. He clenches his teeth.

"You just ran me over, dumbass," he almost spits out. "Are you dumb, blind, or both?" She raises an eyebrow.

"None of the above," she replies flatly. "Are you short, rude, or both?"

He scowls, and the urge to hit her is strong. "Instead of acting like you're above the rest of us, why don't you just apologize so I can be on my way? I don't actually like picking fights, you know." And you're not worth the effort, anyway, he adds silently.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" She tips her head, clearly still irritated. "Shouldn't you be at dinner?"

"Shouldn't you?" What the hell is wrong with this girl?

"Yes." She doesn't sound concerned. "But I'm not."

"I can see that, thank-you."

"I'm breaking into the lab," she continues idly, ignoring him. "There's a lot of fun stuff in there, and supper's the only time I can be sure it's empty. I have a key." She pauses, pursing her lips in thought. "You should come," she decides. "I've been doing this for a while now, but always alone, since no one else wants to risk trouble. It'd be nice to have a partner-in-crime. You look like you'd be up for it."

He stiffens, and wonders what rumors have started. "I'm not anyone's partner-in-crime," he mutters.

"No one said you were." She smiles, almost kindly now, and motions, their whole spat from just a minute ago forgotten. "Come on. I'm Hanji, by the way." She starts off without looking back to make sure he's following, and once again, completely against his better judgement, he follows.

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><p><strong>Fair warning, I'll be posting pretty erratically for a bit until I hit a stride, and by then I may be posting as many as two or three a day. I'll try to update at least once a week, but because I want these to be in order, that may not be possible.<strong>


	2. Ebullience

**I was supposed to publish this yesterday, but I forgot. Then I was supposed to publish this several hours ago, and I forgot again. Well.**

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><p>Ebullience<br>_noun_  
>the quality of being cheerful and full of energy; exuberance<p>

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><p>Not long after joining the legion, Levi learns that Hanji's preferred method of communication in class is notes.<p>

And not long after that, Hanji learns that the reason Levi refuses to reply to any of them despite the extremely low likelihood of getting caught - they sat together in the very back, due to being seated in alphabetical order and Levi's lack of a surname sticking him with the only Z in class, although he probably would have sat with her anyway - isn't because he thinks they're ridiculous (well, not entirely, at least), but because he cannot read or write.

And not long after_ that_, Hanji insists on teaching him.

This is how they end up the library two hours before dinner one day, shielded from prying eyes in a secluded spot in the back.

"Team Leader is going to be wondering where we are," Levi points out as Hanji flits around, setting out pens of various sizes, sheets of paper, and two inkwells. "Someone will notice we're skipping drills."

"Curtis is covering for us." Seeing Levi's look of surprise and irritation, she adds, "Don't worry, I didn't tell him what we're actually doing. He thinks we're breaking into the lab to see if I could make a new cleaning solvent for you. All he wanted in return was my roll at breakfast tomorrow."

"Honestly, I'd much rather be doing that." Levi leans back and crosses his arms. "So can you actually teach me how to read before dinner?"

Hanji laughs. "Of course not," she says, placing a sheet of paper in front of him and a pen in his hand. "Let's start with the basics. Do you know the alphabet?"

"Of course," Levi snaps. He glares at the pen's large nub, knowing it was the kind made for children. "I'm not stupid."

She raises an eyebrow. "Do you know what sounds each letter makes?"

He shrugs. "I know N starts north, S starts south, E for east, and W for west." Almost without thinking, he draws a star, with each letter at the corresponding points.

"Shorthand." She nods wisely and sits down, picking up her own pen. "I suppose that's a good place to start. Look." As she talks, she starts writing, N-O-R-T-H in large, clear letters unlike her usual slanted hand. "See? Because north begins with an N, shorthand for north would be an N."

Levi frowns, feeling stupid and not liking it. "So that says north?" he asks, trying to make sense of the letters.

She nods. "But I think we're going too fast," she decides. "It's good that you know how to hold a pen, at least. How'd you learn to write, anyway?"

Levi isn't quite sure if he should explain his ability to draw simple maps, since that would require talking about his life before now and he'd rather not to that just yet. So he shrugs again.

Hanji blinks, looking mildly surprised. "We should start with letters and their sounds," she says at last. "Write the alphabet for me and we'll go from there."

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><p>The three-hour session is grueling (they'd ended up skipping dinner as well, since neither of them wanted to stop), but at the end of it, Levi has to admit he feels a certain amount of pride in his ability to write "Levi," "Hanji Zoe" (the -ji kept tripping him up, and he'd repeatedly spell it "Hang," or "Hanje," so he was especially proud of that), "Erwin Smith," and "Mike," (last name quickly proved to be too much) reasonably neatly with little error, as well as several short, single syllable words. He still has to carefully sound every letter out, and he does make mistakes, but the fact of the matter is that he can do it.<p>

Hanji looks especially pleased. "You're a really fast learner," she says as they pack up. "I'm almost surprised. We can tackle sight words and maybe even get to reading tomorrow."

Levi looks at her sideways as they leave. He's actually surprised at what a good teacher she'd turned out to be, cheery and and energetic, gently pointing out mistakes but not babying him or anything of the like.

He lets her continue her chatter all the way back to the barracks, where they part for the night.


	3. Beleaguer

**I wrote this such a long time ago, back in November or earlier, and now I'm getting around to publishing it, swell.**

**Which is the main reason my publishing schedule's gonna be weird. I have a bunch of these written that don't happen till they've known each other for several years, and less in the early days, so yeah, I'll probably pick up around March.**

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><p>Beleaguer<br>_verb_  
>lay siege to; to exhaust with attacks<p>

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><p>Levi glances over at Hanji. He hasn't seen much of her in the days leading up to their first expedition outside the walls, and she's changed. Her short hair has grown shaggier, and she seems to have gotten taller. Or maybe it's just her posture that's changed. She holds herself more stiffly now, and straighter.<p>

Her face is different too. Darker, like a shadow has been cast over it. Her entire being radiates anger. Unsurprising, considering the circumstances.

They're standing close together now - or rather, Levi is standing and Hanji is crouching next to him, her crossed forearms resting on her knees as she carefully balances on the broad branch. He idly thinks about how he'd never seen her so still before, and figures it's just as well.

Team Leader Erwin was the one who'd decided they should be on lookout together (Mike and Trina, a veteran on their team, were only a couple hundred yards away), which is fine with Levi. Nothing much has happened, but they've only been outside the walls for a couple of hours. The day is young.

The thought has barely crossed his mind when he hears the first thud. He glances at Hanji again, who holds his gaze for a long moment before standing.

He shrugs and pulls out the flare gun he was given. "I'll do the signal," he says, reaching for the bag that held the smoke rounds. "Red, isn't it?" She frowns.

"We could take them," she finally says quietly, like she's musing to herself. She has her hands tightly wrapped around the handles of her blades, fingers resting on the triggers..

"Team Leader Erwin says we aren't supposed to engage in battle when unnecessary." Levi closes the cartridge. "Remember?"

"We could take them." As if in a trance, Hanji steps off the branch and drops, only sending her grapples into the trunk of a tree once she's falling. Levi scowls as she disappears into the foliage (did she always have to make things difficult?) and rolls his eyes. Abandoning the flare, he goes after her.

"Oi, Four Eyes," he calls, making his way over and under the branches. "Han-" Then he sees her, standing on a branch high over a pair of seven meter class Titans. They're clawing at the trunk, but she's not looking at them, she's scanning the woods around them. Looking for more.

She catches his eye, and he almost doesn't recognize her, her face is so twisted with hatred. Then she somersaults into the air, blades at the ready.

He'd seen her rather unusual level of ferocity in action during practice and drills, but right now she's bordering on sadistic and he can't decide if it should impress or concern him. Before he can truly process what he's seeing, the vicious beleaguer is over and she's swinging back up to retake her perch. Her laugh rings out, and it sounds the same as it always has.

He sees the third Titan a second too late.

He leaps off the branch and whizzes through the air toward the neck, but not before the big hand comes down on one of Hanji's wires. Her laugh turns to a scream that rips through the air and Levi, not thinking clearly or logically, moves as fast as he can to where she is. He can hear someone (Mike?) yelling at him to slow down, but he ignores it. He barely manages to cut the Titan's hand off and barely manages to grab Hanji before she hits the ground, but as he pulls up the wind shifts and he's off balance and barely manages to slow their momentum before they slam into a tree.

He blacks out before they hit the ground, Hanji still in his arms. All they tumble down, his last thought is, "So much for keeping out of the ninety percent."

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><p>When he comes to, the first thing he feels is irritation. It takes a moment for the irritation to actually take shape, and he realizes it's aimed at Hanji for her recklessness. He shuts his eyes, trying to remember what happened. Hanji taking out two Titans (her first kills ever, he realizes) in rapid succession. A third suddenly appearing out of nowhere. Screaming as it knocked her out of the air and into a roof. His own rashness in getting to her before eliminating the threat. Shouting. Pain. Lots of pain. He grunts as he opens his eyes and struggles to prop himself up on his elbows.<p>

"Where's Hanji?" Levi rasps at the person closest. "The idiot tried to take out a group of Titans herself." The medic glances at him, and he can see the pity in her eyes before she turns away, not answering. Sensing something was off, Levi coughs and tries to speak louder. "Where's Hanji? I had her, but we fell, and - where is she?"

"Calm _down_, soldier," someone else tells him sharply, and before they can push him back down, Levi catches a glimpse of his leg. A large patch of the skin of his thigh has been scraped off, it's bleeding and occurs to him that it hurts, but that's not important because he doesn't know where Hanji is and no one's telling him anything. He slaps the hand away from his chest so he can sit up and forces himself to assume the worst, because that's what soldiers do. "Is Hanji d-"

"Levi!" And then there she is, face bruised and arm bandaged but otherwise okay, pushing her way through the medics and throwing herself down next to him.

For the second time in the month or so they'd known each other, Levi lets her hug him, but for the first, he hugs her back. He can feel her trembling as she slumps against him and presses her face to his shoulder, but he doesn't say anything about any of it, just tightens his arms around her waist - slimmer than he would have guessed - and makes a mental note to scold her later, when they're both okay, physically and emotionally okay.

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><p><strong>In case it wasn't already clear, this is linear, but each chapter won't necessarily occur right after the other.<strong>

**Next chapter will be the first from Hanji's POV. By the end of this, they should each have roughly the same amount of chapters, although it likely won;t be alternating.**


	4. Forbearance

Forbearance  
><em>noun<em>  
>withholding response to provocation; patient self-control<p>

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><p>Hanji has always figured she was very good at blocking the world out. But right now, she wonders if maybe she doesn't have quite as much skill in that area as she thought she did.<p>

She'd known that the masses never called good things to the Legion when they returned from expeditions. She hadn't imagined it'd be like this, though.

The names are scathing, voices filled with genuine disgust and anger. It makes her feel cheap, worthless. A waste.

And it's gross, especially, because do they not realize that over seventy-five percent of her training squad is dead? It makes her mad, so fucking mad on top of the grief, but she holds it in anyway, because that's what she needs to do. She'll let go tomorrow morning during drills, like she always does. She might not feel better, but at least she won't feel like killing anyone, and that's what's important.

Levi is riding next to her; despite his injury, he'd refused to sit in a cart "like some invalid." He's staring straight ahead, silent as usual. But this is a different silence, a darker one. She'd only known the kid for a little over a month, but he's already become a constant in her life. She can read him, and knows he's feeling as bad inside as she is. Not guilty-bad, but bad-bad, like a curl of darkness is rising inside you.

It's not an unfamiliar feeling. She feels like this a lot, even when she doesn't necessarily have a reason to. Seems like Levi is no stranger to the feeling either.

Sometimes she remembers that she doesn't know anything about him, not even how old he is or why he joined the Legion after recruitment, without an proper training as far as she could tell. It's strange, quite strange, and she's not even really sure if she should be hanging around him at all-something tells her he's dangerous. But then again, she kind of needs to. He keeps her anchored, somehow, in a way no one else can. He has a very calm air about him, and when she's near him, it's like he loans a little bit to her, just enough so she can keep in control. She appreciates that, at least, and breathes in, hoping to inhale some of that aura. But like everything else, it's soured. Even Levi can't hold it off, apparently.

Glancing around, she notices a pair of little kids in the crowd, boys with enormous, vibrant eyes; one with green and the other blue. They're looking at her curiously, clutching each other's hands, and then one, the green-eyed child, raises his free hand in a tentative wave. She forces a smile, as friendly as she can manage, and he actually smiles back, now waving a little more confidently. She reaches for Levi next to her.

"Wonder where their parents are," she says, almost amused. "They're too little to be in the streets alone."

Levi says nothing, only giving the children a fleeting glance as they pass before training his gaze ahead again. She raises an eyebrow, but rolls her shoulders back, filled with renewed confidence. If the people of this little city want to fling insults and dish out abuse, let them. They won't get anything, not from her.

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><p><strong>Yeah, it's short, but I saw no reason to make it longer. Next chapter will come eventually.<strong>


	5. Insouciance

**I was wondering how Hanji ended up in the Corps in the first place, and this happened.**

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><p>Insouciance<br>_noun_  
>blithe nonchalance; a casual lack of concern<p>

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><p>"Mother's dead, sister's dead, father went off the deep end not too long after, and here I am."<p>

They're sitting on the low brick wall that surrounds the perimeter of the base. They're skipping hand-to-hand, and unlikely to get away with it, but neither of them really care. The weather is nice, and they'd both shrugged off their jackets (and would have even done away with their harnesses had they not been such a hassle to put on in the first place) to better enjoy the sun. Levi had asked Hanji what she was doing here, and that was the answer he got. She continues.

"Some fever, I guess. No one ever told me, thought I was too young. All I know is that they were sick on-and-off for a long time." She swings her legs, curses as her heels slam against the wall. "Ow. But anyway, it was kind of weird when it finally happened. My mother died first, then Louisa checked out something like a week later. After that, my dad just kind of shut down. Not that I blame him. I mean, after Maman died, we all knew Louisa would follow. We were just waiting. But on the bright side, him not paying any attention to me meant there was no one to send me to my grandparents' place after I broke that kid's arm." She makes a face. "I hate Sina."

"You broke a child's arm," he echos. For some reason, he really isn't surprised.

"Better than his face, and believe me, I was tempted," she says easily. "You know, you probably shouldn't tell a girl who's dealing with a lot of pent up anger that her father's becoming a town drunk. Especially when her father is allergic to alcohol." She laughs lightly through her nose. "Stupid child."

There's something in her face that tells him she'd have done more than merely break this brat's face if she could have, probably would have killed him if she could have. Even so, he pretends not to notice. "Stupid indeed."

"I probably would have gotten in trouble with the local police if my dad hadn't cried so hard when they brought me home. He kept begging them not to take me, that I was all he had left. I cried too, because I thought he'd finally remembered he had another daughter."

"I'm assuming he didn't really."

Hanji grins, quick curl of her lips that's not as humorless as he would have thought. "Heard this story before, haven't you? Yeah, he hadn't. That night was the first time he called me Louisa. And so it started. I was only Hanji when I did something horrible, and Louisa the rest of the time. It didn't suck. At least he tuned in a little more."

"So then?"

"Nothing much, really. Went on for about a year, and after my dad sang Happy Seventeenth Birthday to Louisa and fed me her favorite meal, I remembered something my mother told me." She taps her chest. "She always said I was much too angry for a girl, and it wasn't right for one to hold so many negative feelings inside, especially without reason. She would joke that the only proper place to release my 'impulses' was the Survey Corps. She probably wasn't serious, but it gave me the idea. So when they came through my town looking for recruits, I signed up, then told my father that Hanji was going to join me and Mama with the angels." She smiles, pulling on her jacket. "A little joke, you know, with the wings of freedom."

"Clever," he says, because he doesn't quite know how to answer.

"Aren't I?" She jumps off the wall. "Dinner's gonna start soon, don't wanna be late and call any more attention to ourselves."

"Right." Levi gets down and uses the opportunity to get a good look at her face. But her eyes look the same as they always did, no brighter from tears and no darker with sorrow or anger. He wonders what's wrong with her, how she could talk about something like what she'd just told him so easily.

Maybe she's lying, he thinks as he walks with her to the mess hall. It's the only way he can justify her lack of a reaction, the only way he can not wonder.


	6. Inure

**This took so long to get out because I got distracted and wrote other things instead.**

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><p>Inure<br>_verb_  
>to become jaded or accustomed to something unpleasant<p>

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><p>"So, what about your family?"<p>

Hanji isn't really surprised she and Levi had been caught skipping drills, but at least the punishment is weak, just running around the base until they drop from exhaustion. They're also running on no breakfast, which is slightly more irksome, but not unmanageable. Since they'd finished the customary complaints and cursing of the team leaders and had entered the forest, they'd fallen into a comfortable silence. At least, until she'd decided to break it with her question.

Levi glances over. "Just my mother," he says shortly. "Dead."

"How?" When he doesn't answer, she backtracks. "Tell me about her, at least."

"Tell you about her?" Levi repeats, sounding doubtful. "Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know." She shrugs. "What did she look like?"

"Yellow hair and blue eyes," he says curtly. "Petite."

It's a start. "Did she sing?" she asks, remembering the sound of her own mother's voice as she sat by the window and mended.

"Sometimes. She wasn't good at it, though. She had bad lungs."

Hanji bobs her head thoughtfully, but she stays silent. Interesting. Might explain his obsessive cleaning habits.

What he says next confirms this. "She shouldn't have been working, but my dad was long dead and she had me to take care of," he says between steady, even puffs of breath. "She worked with textiles in a factory. There was a lot of gross dust there, so I made sure the house was clean so her lungs could get a break."

Levi keeps his eyes trained on the path before him. "She wasn't a bad singer because she couldn't breathe good. She couldn't carry a note, period. Tone deaf, I guess. What else do you want?"

"Anything you wanna tell me," she replies. He exhales.

"She never married anyone after my father died or left or whatever. Point is, he was gone." Levi's face darkens with concentration. "I went to school until I was ten, then I dropped out so I could help earn money. I didn't want her to have to work so long everyday."

"What'd you do?"

"Sold things." He looks at her sideways. "Cigarettes. Lottery tickets. The like."

"That's nice," she says. "I'm sure you really loved her." She means it as an offhanded remark, but Levi stops short, glaring at her.

"What the _hell_?" he spits. "Of course I did - I do. She was my mother."

"Yes?" Hanji stops too, turning back to look at him. "I know. And besides, that doesn't mean you-"

He lunges at her now, and she cuts herself off to quickly sidestep. He goes for her again, drawing back his fist back, but she's prepared this time, dodging easily. She grabs his wrist, narrowly avoiding a pop to the jaw, then grabs the other one, forcing them away from her.

"Calm down," she says mildly, although it's really a struggle to keep him back. "Damn, Levi, a tantrum like this is ridiculous."

His eyes narrow further in anger, and Hanji thinks for a moment that he's going to try at her again, knowing that if he does she's either going to have to take it or fight back. Before she can decide which, however, the fight just goes out of him and his shoulders slump. Very suddenly, he sits down, pulling his legs up, resting his elbows on his knees and hiding his face in his arms. She still holds tight to his wrists. Slowly, she crouches down in front of him.

"Calm down," she repeats, moving her fingers to close around his. "I didn't mean it like that. Of course you love your mother. And it's not like you're too old to freak or miss her. It wasn't so long ago, after all."

His head comes up; he looks irritated. "I'm nineteen," he snaps, having read her mind. She nods.

"Yes," she agrees. Nineteen wouldn't have been her first guess, but she supposes it's possible and there's no reason for him to lie. It's just kind of surprising he's a full three years older than her. "I'm sixteen."

"I didn't ask."

"I'll be seventeen in September," she goes on. "When does your second decade of life start?"

"Go away, Shitty Glasses."

"Not until you tell me."

"December. Happy?"

"Very." She stands, tugging him with her; he's heavier than he looks. "Come on."

He gives her a sour look, but surprisingly doesn't pull his hands out of her grasp. "You said you'd go away."

"I know I did," she says, swinging his arms. "But we have to finish running. I'll leave you alone later, I promise. Now come on."

His expression darkens, then he half-shrugs and starts to jog. "Whatever," he throws over his shoulder at her. "But you aren't allowed to talk to me."

"No problem," she says easily, and follows.


	7. Lassitude

**I like to think that Levi had longish hair at some point. I also like to think that he has zero tolerance for hot weather.**

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><p>Lassitude<br>_noun_  
>a state of physical or mental weariness; lack of energy<p>

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><p>The first time Hanji cuts his hair is during their first summer in the Legion, after she walks in on him stretched out on his bed, having stripped down to his boxers for relief from the stifling heat. She doesn't really react to it, just raises her eyebrows before getting up on the bed to join him.<p>

"It's so fucking hot," he finally says as way of explanation. She nods in agreement.

"I figured that's why you weren't at lunch," she replies. "It's way too hot for beef stew. Although you should still have stayed for water or something. And it's not as bad outside as it in here."

"At least there's no sun in here," he says, turning his head to look at her. His hair-almost to his shoulders and currently tacky with sweat-sticks to the back of his neck and he cringes. Or at least, he tries to. He's so exhausted from the heat that his body feels remarkably heavy and any movement takes tremendous effort. He is uncomfortably aware of his heartbeat and his head is killing him. His skin is clammy and gross feeling, but he doesn't even feel like showering.

Hanji moves closer. "You don't look so hot," she observes, then grins. "Pun not intended. But I can get you some water."

"I'll just sweat it all out again," he says, gazing up at the slats of the bed above him. He exhales. "It's too hot for hair today."

The bed creaks as she gets up. He looks over. "Well," she says cheerfully, tinkering around the barrack to search drawers before finally producing a pair of scissors, "I can just cut it."

He heaves a breath, closing his eyes. "Go ahead, then."

"You mean that?" She crawls back on the bed and cradles his head in her lap. The fabric of her pants is strangely cool and when she starts to fan him with a sheath of papers he feels immensely grateful. "Are you sure?"

"Why not?" The idea that his hair is absorbing all the heat and giving him this pounding headache seems plenty logical. "Cut it all off, I don't care. Whatever."

"I would have expected a little more convincing on my part," she says mildly. He feels her fingers running through his hair before she choses a lock. "Ew, Levi, your hair is all sweaty. Are you absolutely sure about this? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

"Don't scalp me," he finally decides, eyes still firmly shut. "I just want it short."

"Thank you," she says, and with that, makes the first cut.

The snipping sounds are strangely soothing, and although she's stopped fanning him, he starts to feel better, if only by a little. He hears his bunkmates start streaming in, most of them complaining about the heat. Someone asks Hanji if he knows she's cutting his hair.

"Of course," she answers, cool deft fingers ghosting over the back of his neck as she gently turns his head. "I'm not suicidal. It's just that this heat wave is making him sick, poor boy."

If Levi weren't so tired, he'd probably sit up and counter that statement (what the fuck, he's not her child). But she's probably right anyway, and besides, she is doing him a favor. And he doesn't really think he can move anyhow. Even his eyelids feel too heavy to lift for a warning glare.

His bunkmates' chatter with each other as they get ready for 3DMG drills and the steady sound of Hanji's cutting is what he falls asleep to.

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><p><strong>Heat exhaustion sucks.<strong>


	8. Ethereal

**Sorry it took so long to get out! Distracted with writing other chapters. Also, I'd really like to thank Stardiouses for all their kind reviews!**

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><p>Ethereal<br>_adjective_  
>gaseous; invisible but detectable<p>

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><p>"<em>Cadet Rousselle a trois maisons, qui n'ont ni poutres, ni chevrons<em>," Hanji sings quietly, brushing down her horse. "_C'est pour loger les hirondelles, que direz-vous-_"

"D'you always talk to yourself about men with three houses?"

She starts and turns around, then shakes her head when she sees who stands behind her. "Shit, Levi, you scared me," she says, going back to work. "And yes, I do." She squints at him, then frowns. "You're not supposed to be outside. You're going to give yourself heat stroke, and that really will kill you."

"I'm wearing a hat, calm down." She makes a face at him; he seems genuinely ignorant as to why being outside would be a problem. "And we're indoors."

"Being in the stables isn't the same as being inside, dumbshit." She gives Enid's side a solid pat before hauling her saddle off the wall and onto the horse. "Especially when you already have heat exhaustion." She grunts as she crouches down to tighten the straps. "See what happens."

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine enough to go in this expedition," she counters, blowing a tuft of hair out of her eyes. "You'll be hanging out here while the rest of us are risking our asses to get a couple more kills and maybe some useful information."

"All? It's just a few teams that are going, Shitty Specs." He sits down in a wheelbarrow of clean hay, bringing his legs up and crossing them before pulling off his hat. She glances at his head then looks away, pressing her lips together to keep a laugh from escaping. He's seated dangerously close to a stack of horseshoes (she kept them around for luck), and she's not eager to be out of commission for a head injury.

"Shut up," he adds.

"I didn't say anything!" Hanji rises on her toes to grin at him from over Enid's side. "I was just thinking that you look cute." It's a stark lie. His new haircut looks kind of bizarre for reasons other than the jolt from longish hair to fairly short. It's very choppy, some locks stuck up a little, and there's a stubborn cowlick by his ear. He reads her expression.

"At least it feels cooler," he says shortly. "I'll shave the rest off if it doesn't grow out right."

"Wait for me to come back and I'll do it for you," she giggles as she adjusts the stirrups. He sneers.

"Like hell are you ever touching my head again," he snaps. "Instead of wondering how you can fuck with me next time, you'd better focus on surviving the mission. Since I won't be there to keep your ass in check."

"Oh really?" After checking that everything is okay and Enid looks comfortable, she swings herself into the saddle. "I can take care of myself, darling."

"You're impulsive and too anger-driven," he points out. "All you care about is upping your kill count. So don't be dumb."

She's about to dismiss his concerns when she notices how serious he looks. He's not kidding. He almost looks _scared_ for her, if she really squints. "I'll be fine," she finally says lightly. "Don't worry about me."

"I'm not worrying," he promises. "I'm more concerned about who I'll play cards with against Curtis and Maria Anna if you die."

She looks at him amusedly. "Sometimes I count the cards. Didn't you know?"

"I figured it out," he says drily, waving his hand dismissively. "You should probably leave now."

"Mmhm, yeah, we'll be leaving soon." She tugs on the reins, guiding Enid out of the stall and into the main walk. "See you in a few days!"

She twists around to wave at him, and at the last minute, before she emerges into the heavy air and bright sun to join her squadron, he lifts his hand in a wave back.

* * *

><p><strong>They both speak a little French, apparently.<strong>


	9. Embrocation

**Updates two days in a row, cool. Still, thanks for the kind reviews!**

* * *

><p>Embrocation<br>_noun_  
>a liquid used for rubbing on the body to relieve pain<p>

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you," Levi says, ducking around the curtain into the medical tent.<p>

Hanji lies on her stomach on a cot, idly flipping through a book. She isn't wearing a shirt, but meters of gauze and bandages cover her torso from her lower back up to her armpits. Extending above the wrapping over her shoulders and to her neck, is what resembles an angry red rash. Her hands are also wrapped up, but that seems to be the extent of her injuries. He exhales.

"I thought I told you to be careful," he says, sitting down next to her and unscrewing the jar in his hand. She cranes her neck around to look at him.

"I was," she says cheerfully. "My grapple hook fell out, I slid down the tree on my back and cut my hands when I tried to grab the wires. Nothing that happened was through any fault of mine. You should see my cloak and jacket though. Ripped all the way through."

He shakes his head. "I knew you wouldn't be able to take care of yourself without me there." He remembers their first expedition. She'd come so close to dying because of her own dumb rashness and overconfidence. His stomach clenches.

"Oh please." She rolls onto her side, propping herself up on an elbow. "What's that?"

"Salve," he says flatly, making a face at the strange smell. "It's the only way they'd let me see you." He reaches out to push her back onto her stomach to get a better look at the injury. "Damn, Four Eyes. Does it hurt?"

"At first, yeah, like a bitch; I couldn't even think straight," she mumbles into the pillow. "Not too bad anymore now. But I was pretty doped on morphine last night and they gave me a little more this morning, so I doubt it's worn off yet."

"Tch." He dips his hand into the jar and scoops out some of the thick white salve, slopping it onto the exposed skin. "You'll need a whole new layer of skin to grow back before that heals."

"That's what the medics say." She shifts. "I'll be out of commission for a while. Now the shoe is on the other foot, huh?"

"I guess," he says, only half listening, focusing on his work.

"And since the shoe is on the other foot, you get to take care of me," she continues. "Won't you, Levi?"

He pauses, considers this, then shrugs. "I guess," he repeats flatly. "Since the medical team is incompetent and all. You know, they still haven't cleared me to rejoin training."

"They're just taking precautions, Levi." She sounds like she's smiling. "Remember when I got hurt the first time? You spent a week after I'd been cleared nagging me not to overexert myself. All I did was sprain my wrist a little!"

He's silent, then, "I wasn't nagging."

"You were too," she replies, voice muffled as she presses the pillow closer. "Terribly."

He considers arguing further, but just accepts that she won't let up. "Fine," he says. "What do you want?"

"Some of your t-shirts," she says instantly. "They're bigger sizes than mine."

"Weird, but okay." He rolls his eyes. "Anything else?"

"You could harass the medics for more painkillers later. After the morphine wears off."

"Done. And?"

"If you can get into the lab without me, some books. Maria Anna just got me this silly children's novella from one of the other girls."

"Shirts, painkillers, and books," he recounts, accentuating each one with a light tap. Her hair is a mess too, and he makes a mental note to get a comb as well. "All?"

"Yes, thank you. But it'd be great if you could read the books to me too. I'm sure you need the practice."

He sneers, but of course she doesn't see it. "Don't push your luck."

She laughs.


	10. Petrichor

**Yet another upload, sweet.**

* * *

><p>Petrichor<br>_noun_  
>the scent of rain on dry earth<p>

* * *

><p>Hanji is laughing. It's raining, the first rain in over three months, and she's laughing.<p>

She'd barged right into the barracks, without bothering to change out of her nightgown, put on her glasses, or even shove her feet into a pair of shoes. Just dragged Levi by his hands from his bed without a word of explanation. If he hadn't already been up, listening to the droplets hit the roof and watching them run down the window, he might have been angry. But he had been, and that makes it slightly more okay.

"It's raining!" she cries, pulling him past the bunks and outside. "It's raining!"

"I know that," he says dryly. "Where are you taking me?" Running around the base in his pajamas in the middle of the night doesn't really seem like a fun time. He wonders, idly, if this would count as being up past curfew.

The earth is still fairly hard, having yet to soak up its blessing, although it has been raining moderately heavily for at least twenty minutes by this point. The dust that would coat his boots for so long has turned to grainy mud, squishing between his bare toes as they run. It's gross, but the urge to clean it off isn't as strong as it might normally be.

They're in the clearing now, the one in the middle of the woods used for maneuver gear drills. She's let go of his hands and is twirling, long tanned arms thrown open as if she would hug the air if she could. Her nightgown is soaked through, his pajamas are soaked through, and they'll probably come away with colds at the end of this. But even so, he doesn't leave.

"You're an idiot," he tells her sincerely. "It's just rain."

"It's not _just_ rain!" she cries, and pirouettes clumsily. "It's a_ first_ rain. Can't you smell it? That's a magical smell, Levi." She grabs his face in her hands and kisses him, right on the nose like an outright declaration of her affection for him. He jerks back, startled, but she doesn't seem to notice, raising her arms again and continuing her strange dance. She starts to sing, a song about rain that she'd probably made up on the spot, voice loud and gleeful and off-key.

His hair is wet and sticking to his forehead, and his skin feels clammy under his clothes. He's got mud up to his ankles and he really needs to change. But the air finally smells clean and the dust is gone and there's a chance he might actually be able to shower today, so it's okay. Hanji has taken his hands again, drawing him into her dance, and although he doesn't mimic it, he does move with her, just because he can.


	11. Lagniappe

**Let's skip forward two/three months, because this is written so why not.**

* * *

><p>Hanji shivers as she stands on the porch of her barracks, watching Levi experimentally step around in the fifteen or centimeters of snow on the ground. He'd pulled her out of bed only a few minutes before, telling her there was something she had to see outside. That something, it turned out, was just snow, the same snow that had been falling since late last night but has now accumulated, turning the base into a winter wonderland.<p>

"Are you sure this is snow?" he asks her now, crunching it underneath his boots. "Snow doesn't look like this."

"Yes it does," she says, and she can't keep the edge from her voice. Levi doesn't pick up on it, the dense idiot. "Snow has looked like this my entire life."

"But snow is supposed to be wet and soft," he murmurs, sounding vaguely perplexed. "And gray. And there shouldn't be this much of it." He crouches down to further study it. "Look. It's so white."

"Of course it's white. It's snow."

"But snow isn't supposed white."

"Snow isn't supposed to be _gray_."

He frowns. "I must get different snow then," he says, resting his elbows on his knees. He makes a face. "It's kind of like ice."

He crouches there for a long while, and eventually Hanji sighs. "Do you need gloves?" she asks, noticing that all he's doing is staring at the snow, but not actually _playing_ in it. She peels hers off. "Here, have mine." She'd brought them from home, a good decision on her part since the standard issue gloves they gave out in training sucked. And Levi didn't even go through training, so she doubts he has any.

He looks up at her. "But you need them." He's not wearing his hood (in addition to loving snow he also appears to want to catch cold) and white dusts the top of his black head like enormous flakes of dandruff. The tip of his nose is red, and his cheeks are rosy. He looks kind of like a little kid. Cute.

She shrugs. "I hate snow," she says bluntly, tossing him the gloves. "It's too cold."

He catches them and pulls them on, then immediately gathers a handful, stepping back up on the porch to show her. "How can you not like it?" he asks. "Look at how clean it is."

"Get it out of my face," she says starkly. "I'm serious."

Levi raises an eyebrow, turning away and stepping back down to continue his careful examination. "Of course you wouldn't like something clean," he says, wide, careful steps resembling skipping. She rolls her eyes. "I think it's nice."

"Well, no one asked what you thought, Levi," she replies. "Go build a snowman or something."

He stops very suddenly, looking intrigued. "Excuse me?"

"A snowman." Good God, where is this kid from that not only has he never seen actual snow (or at the very least, fresh powder), but doesn't even know what a snowman is? She jumps down from the porch. "I'll show you," she adds. "Come on."

Levi has never been one to ask for help on anything, but his curiosity must be getting the better of him, because he follows her without a word. Around the side of her barracks, hidden from the HQ building and anyone else who might already be up, she points to a drift.

"You need to pack it so it's hard," she explains. "Gather a whole bunch of it."

Levi nods and goes. He's surprisingly efficient for someone who has never worked with snow before, and soon, under her careful instruction, he has a snowman almost as tall as he is standing before them.

"Nice," she says, pleased with his work and forgetting her previous discomfort. "You should give it a face."

"It looks like shit, but whatever." He shrugs, and with his finger carefully traces a smile in the face. "Are we even allowed to do this?"

"Who cares?" She takes off her glasses and puts them over the eyes. "It's cute."

"I guess."

"We should name him."

Levi shrugs again, like he doesn't really care either way. "Snow, I guess," he says, breaking a fallen branch and sticking it in the sides.

"Sure," Hanji agrees, leaning over to wrap her arms around his neck. He doesn't pull away, and although the top of his head is cold and damp, she presses her cheek against it. "Snow. Let's find some more things to dress him up with."

* * *

><p><strong>I don't even really know.<strong>


	12. Felicity

"Happy Christmas, Levi!" Hanji shouts when she sees him walk in. "Hi!"

Levi lets her hug him without complaint, using the opportunity to scan the mess hall, where this so-called celebration is taking place. The veterans talk amongst themselves at the front closest to where the food would be served, while the remainder gathers in small clusters, mostly sorted by age and experience. Nothing new on that front. There are candles on tables and even tablecloths (or glorified sheets, it looks), and though he doubts they'll be serving from anything other than the usual tin plates and cups, he can actually see that an effort has been made.

Hanji's made an effort too he sees, when he notices her looking him up and down. "We're twinning," she says, sounding pleased, folding in the lapels of her slightly-too-big blazer, then flipping them back out.

"If you ignore the fact that my clothes _fit_, then sure."

"Oh, please." Hanji winks—what the _hell_—and pulls him by the hands back through the open door. "Let's go outside, kay?"

Levi doesn't bother protesting. It's an unusually warm night anyway, so though he's cold, it's not unbearable. Frankly preferable to the chatter and lights and people inside anyway.

Hanji does a bit of chattering about how it's their first Christmas in the Legion and how _exciting_, they've known each other for nearly eight months, isn't that amazing? Levi only half-listens to her rambling, focusing instead on the stars in the dark sky.

"So when's your birthday, anyway?" Hanji changes the subject very abruptly like this, forcing him to tune in again. "I recall you saying it was in December but you never gave me a date and—"

"Today."

"Excuse?"

"Today." He looks at her sideways. "Don't tell me your hearing is just as shitty as your eyesight."

Hanji blinks. "Today? Christmas, today?"

"Mhmm." He rolls his eyes, waiting for some dumb joke, so he's more than a little surprised when Hanji grabs his hand instead and drags him away, down the steps from the mess hall. They're heading to the barracks. "Shitty Glasses, what the hell?"

"Come on!" Her feet kick up little flurries as they run, then go up the steps to her particular barracks. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Was I supposed to assume you wanted my birthday?" Levi stands in the doorway, watching as she digs in her shared trunk for something. "What are you—"

"Here!" Hanji waves a small box in the air and bounds across the room to join him and shove the package into his hands. "Look!"

He frowns at her, even as he unties the twine knot and opens it. His frown deepens. "What the fuck?"

Hanji bounces a little on her toes. "It's a cravat!" she explains, removing the length of silk from the box and wrapping it around his neck. "Happy birthday, you dork."

"Uh." Levi remains still as her hands work at his throat. He's not entirely sure of what to say. "I know what a cravat is."

"I got it a while back," she babbles. "I thought it was funny, because you're so uptight and I saw it, so of course I was like, 'It's a wonder Levi doesn't wear one of those.' And I realized December was coming, so your birthday was coming, so I decided screw it, and I bought it." Finishing up, she adjusts the length slightly before she's satisfied. "God, you look so dumb." Like she wants to prove it, Hanji takes him by the shoulders and repositions him so he's looking at the small square pane of glass by the door. "See?"

Levi studies his reflection silently. "I like it," he finally says, shrugging as best he can with her hands still clamped down on him. "Thanks, I guess."

He can see her tip her head slightly in the reflection, like she'd expected a completely different reaction. Then she smiles warmly. "You're very welcome, Levi," Hanji says. "You know, it actually does look nice on you, in a silly, uptight way. Very characteristic, I believe."

"Yeah." Levi turns his head this way, then that. "Yeah, sure."

* * *

><p><strong>I like to think the cravat started out as a gag gift, but Levi took it too seriously.<strong>


	13. Dissemble

Dissemble  
><em>verb<em>  
>to deceive or otherwise conceal one's true feelings or intentions<p>

* * *

><p>If it were up to Hanji, she wouldn't have given Levi abruptly leaving in the middle of breakfast a second thought. But Erwin, her squad leader and sitting farther down the same table, shoots her an expectant look. She blinks, feigning cluelessness, but the look doesn't let up, he just nods toward the door. With a heaving sigh, she excuses herself, pulls on her cloak, and shuffles outdoors, silently cursing Erwin the whole way.<p>

When she sees Levi standing ankle deep in snow, arms crossed under his cloak and looking around, she's not even surprised. They'd gotten a bunch of fresh powder the night before, and he'd made it his habit to spend a few hours admiring it instead of getting on with the things he should have been doing.

"Levi, come back inside," she calls. "And stop standing around like that, you're going to get frostbitten."

"I'll be fine," he says absently, only sparing a glance in her direction. Hanji clomps down the steps of the mess hall.

"Finish your breakfast at least," she insists, taking on a motherly tone. "You'll have plenty of time to play later."

She half-expects him to ignore her, but instead Levi just stares at her with a strange look on his face. Then, while she's contemplating going back inside to tell Erwin to get Levi himself, Levi scoops up a handful of snow and flings it at her, all in a single swift movement. She takes a half-step back, but of course that does nothing to keep the handful from hitting her right in the face.

Startling, to say the least. Never mind who it's come from.

"A snowball fight, seriously?" she demands, wiping off her glasses. "How old are you, six?"

In response, Levi flings more snow and gives a quick, challenging smile. Well.

Hanji had grown up one of the youngest children in her area; she knew well enough how to hold her own in the winter. Good, hard-packed snowballs worked wonders against older kids who refused to leave her be. Combined with a strategic aim, and they'd quickly learn she wasn't one to be messed with-at least, until the next year.

Levi's getting ready for another attack when her own snowball nails him right in the shoulder. He starts and stands, looking both shocked and impressed. She grins.

"That was for making me cut my breakfast short!" she calls, preparing another. "And you know I don't like snow!"

"That wasn't snow, it was a rock!" he yells back. He dodges her next shot and counters it with one of his own. Hanji laughs as she ducks.

"You're such a baby," she teases. "Come on!"

The next one that hits her proves she has taught him well; it nearly knocks her right off her feet. Levi's a small and fast moving target, and as she's trying to figure out the best way to get him again - and get him _good_ - she hears the mess hall door open and turns to see Erwin step outside. He looks around, clearly surprised.

"What's going on?" Erwin starts down the steps and heads in Hanji's direction. Oh, shit. She glances at Levi, who shrugs. "Are you two actually…?"

"Yes, sir," she says. "But you should know, Levi-"

Suddenly, he stops in his tracks. Hanji gasps. Levi raises his eyebrows. Erwin just looks confused, reaching up to feel his hair and look at his wet fingers. Then, he lets out a small puff of amused laughter before turning around.

Mike stands just behind Erwin, expression appropriately serious but eyes twinkling. The palm of one of his black gloves is covered in white.

"Good one, Zacharius," he says good-naturedly, crossing his arms. "Really nice one. Clever. No way would I have seen that coming." Still talking, without taking his eyes off his friend, he shoots Hanji a thumbs up under his arm. She immediately understands.

The snowball she'd intended for Levi finds a home on the side of Mike's head. Then, quickly like a one-two punch, Erwin lunges forward and mashes more snow into his face. Mike shoves him and he shoves back, but he's laughing, working more snow down his shirt. Hanji's never seen either of them act like this.

Now would be a great time to go back inside and make an effort to enjoy the rest of her breakfast. But, she thinks as she notices Levi once again contemplating the beauty of nature, he'd make a really easy target right now.

An easy target he is. Gets him right in the face. Levi looks annoyed for only a second before returning the sentiment.

The next people to come out are Maria Anna and Curtis, both students from Hanji's trainee corps ranked in the top 10 with her, and her and Levi's supposed friends. Maria Anna, for her part, seems to be seriously considering returning inside, but Curtis leaps down all four steps without slipping and nails Erwin from behind with a sloppy snowball. She pulls on her hood then, and quickly joins in.

More and more people come outside to see what all the commotion is about, first alone, then in pairs, and finally in whole groups. Most jump right in, and those who don't are quickly roped into the fun. Soon the yard is filled with bodies, and it's impossible to turn without getting hit. Some people are attempting organization by making teams, but mostly it's just chaotic. Mike and Erwin still make each other their main targets, and more than once she'd been dragged in. Even the commander is getting in on it, Hanji notices while she looks around for Levi. He's pretending to be above this, but she sees him sneaking hits when he thinks no one is looking.

Someone grabs her hood and Hanji twists around, getting a bunch of snow in the face rather than down the back. She shrieks and laughs and slips, landing in a snowbank by the mess hall wall and bringing the person - Levi, naturally - down with her. The shock of cold takes her breath away and she's once again reminded of why she hates winter. But right now, she really doesn't care. She's soaked through but still laughing. The entire Legion is having a freaking snowball fight, nearly three hundred people strong. It's amazing, all of it's amazing. She never would have imagined any of it.

Also amazing is the wonder on Levi's face when he sits up. There's another one of those smiles, quick and light, and he shakes his head before climbing to his feet. It's a struggle.

"Come on, Shitty Glasses," he says, pulling her up as well. "I thought you didn't like snow."

"You're an asshole," she retorts, and instead of replying, he pulls her with him into the snowbank again.


	14. Sempiternal

Sempiternal  
><em>adjective<em>  
>eternal and unchanging; everlasting<p>

* * *

><p>"If you look down, you can see Titans crawling to get in," Hanji explains, sitting down next to him. "And if you look straight ahead, you can see it's not so small a world after all."<p>

Levi is looking straight ahead. He'd never been on top of the Wall before. He hadn't expected this.

The idea of there being a whole big world outside the walls had always been hard for him to swallow. Even after he'd joined the Legion and began to leave on expeditions, there'd never been enough time to appreciate the outside when there were people dying around him.

But here is is, looking at it. And it's so different like this. The air smells clean, like the outside, and he can actually see and appreciate the beauty of it, and stare at it for as long as he wants. He can stare at the mountains in the distance and the fields and forests that seem to stretch on forever, and it doesn't matter. No one is going to die.

There's a whole world out there. If Humanity was exterminated, the world would still be there. And if they were ever liberated instead, by some bizarre miracle in the distant future, the world would be theirs once again. The world of oceans and mountains and lands of ice and burning sand. The world would be there forever. The world would last forever.

He's not in the Walls, and he's not outside them either. It's like an in-between. He feels safe here. Almost happy. Calm. But mostly in awe of it all. It's something to fight for. Now that winter's over, expeditions are starting up again. When he leaves the Walls, he'll know there's something out there to fight for.

"So what do you think?" Hanji asks.

He'd almost forgotten she was sitting there next to him.

He only means to glance at her, but when he notices the warmth in her eyes, it gives him pause. He'd never seen her look at anyone like that, least of all him. No one has ever looked at him like that either, not for a long time.

"Oh," he says finally, turning back. The sun is starting to set. "Yeah, it's nice."

Her fingers find his, not to hold but just to touch, and he doesn't pull his hand away.


End file.
